So if you hadn't heard already, Kevin Smith is protesting loudly about being kicked off of a Southwest Airlines flight this weekend because he was determined to be too fat to fly.

Now as a fat person, you might think I would simply side with Kevin Smith (whose movies I happen to love...Pillowpants, anyone?). But actually, I think they're both to blame.

This isn't a case of self-hatred because I'm obese: My large behind and permanently Cheeto-stained fingers are a badge of honor, proof that I conquered the nearly overwhelming urges to kill some of my former bosses, run my car into the DMV, and drop-kick screaming kids on airplanes. That last one is the reason why I side with the airlines.

The fact is that if you are too large to fit in the seat, you're going to infringe on someone else's space, and they are going to be made uncomfortable by that through no fault of their own. Same with crying babies: there needs to be a minimum age on airplanes or a mandatory Benadryl requirement for anyone who isn't old enough to understand that Barney is Satan. I also feel the same way about people who insist on making conversation with you when it is obvious from the PILLOW OVER YOUR FACE that you DO NOT WANT TO TALK.

But Southwest doesn't get off that easily, and what I have to say about them goes for every other U.S.airline as well: What ever happened to customer service? Embarrassing someone publicly for whatever reason should never be company policy; they could have talked to Mr. Smith about the issue before he boarded the plane. Shrinking the size of seats to fit more of them on those glorified heifer haulers they call airplanes - at exactly the same time when their customers are obviously getting wider - is also very poor client relations. But the worst infringement on the customer service code? The way Southwest is twisting themselves and their policies into a pretzel in order to appease an angry celebrity, when the fact is the rest of us would have simply been ejected and euphemistically told to put down the fork.

UPDATE: Kevin has now written what he says will be his last word on the subject. What bothers me the most is that he says all he wants from Southwest is a public statement saying he isn't too fat to fly. He's said in the past that he "knows he's fat", but honestly, it's kinda like wanting the cool kids at school to give you a pass and say "Naw, you're not that fat. There are lots of people fatter than you."

Own it, and the problems and pleasures that go with too much food, or do something about it.

Posted: Tuesday, Feb 16 2010 at 9:56 AM

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